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Bed Rest: Week 11
Pregnancy: Week 25

So many have asked how things are going, how have I been feeling, how is bed rest, and what has the Dr. said? I've answered the same questions so many times I often feel like a ship on auto pilot just cruising through the conversation with no feeling or emotion.

In reality my days are as varied as the color of crayons in a box. I find that when I make a plan for my day and follow through with what I would like to accomplish my stress, emotions, and mentality remain low and stable. On the days where I don't plan or the things on my to-do list don't get done are days where I find myself emotionally stripped and raw. (*For those that don't know me, I'm a very emotional and what people call "touchy-feely" person. At one time I loathed that Christ wired me this way but over time have learned how great of a blessing it can be and have accepted my tearful and emotional lot in life.)

I've been given more access to get up and move about: I can take the dog on walks, make short trips to the store, and for the first time in 11 weeks I was able to attend church this past weekend. This small sense of freedom often saves me from an emotional breakdown of self pity at the end of each night. Now that I'm able to get out of the house and complete most household chores my mind has calmed and begun it's process of returning to what is a normal emotional state, for me.

It's the inability to drive myself anywhere that currently wears my spirit to the size of a pea and makes me feel incomplete. Although I don't see a difference between riding in a car and driving a car we are following the Dr.'s orders. Always having had the freedom to move about the country as I saw fit but now being at the mercy of any one else who holds a valid drivers license is my current emotional and mental hurdle. Constantly I have to pray that I will be given understanding of Brandon's work and the ability to accept the need to wait; it doesn't have to be done tonight or it can wait until after dinner.

Patience is a lesson that is taught through out one's entire life and I've never learned more of it than in the last 11 weeks. I'm glad that I've been blessed with the opportunity to learn yet another small facet of it's many faces; however, I am truly looking forward to the day when I can get behind the wheel of my standard Hyundai and bust out on the back curvy, country roads of KY. I want to roll the windows down and sing my heart out as a sign of my freedom!

Please don't misunderstand, I am thankful for the Dr. and her knowledge. I am grateful for this pregnancy and am ready to make the major life change that is quickly coming towards me. I'm looking forward to meeting my little Mann and holding him in my arms; I'm just a girl who has a need to get out and see God's great creation fly past her as the winds throws her hair wildly around her head. Now that I'm up and moving again I have a need to get behind the wheel and speed!

Complete freedom comes in the form of a little red Hyundai with a clutch and gear shift and I'm looking forward to it!