"We Believe in Elfin Magic" ~Keebler

As most nights at the Mann house, Brandon and I were settling in to watch one of our shows. It's not uncommon for us to curl up together in our recliner, yes we BOTH fit in the recliner, and every now and again we have the dog join us. On this particular night Brandon had just gotten up so I called Tiko to join me. I hugged him tight and rocked the chair while rubbing his tummy. Needless to say the dog was jiggling all over the place to which Brandon looked at Tiko and in all honesty asked:

"Are you being thrown around like a little elf?"

I laughed so hard I knocked the dog off the chair. Brandon had no idea where it came from and neither do I, but it was FUNNY!!!

Pee Stick Blessings

I'M OVULATING!!!

As my Dr. requested I have been doing an ovulation test everyday since my cycle ended. For 6 months I have seen negative tests and I was not expecting to see anything different today. To my great surprised there were two lines on my test making it a positive test. For a whole minute I just gaped at it unsure of what to do. Once I recovered I immeditally called my Dr. to inform her. She was surprised and confused, that would make my cycle over 40 days long! To have such a long cycle AND ovulate was not really possible to her.

It's possible to me because with God all things are possible.
She asked me to take a second test in 20 minutes just to be sure. Sure enough, the second test came out positive and I burst into tears; I couldn't help it. I'm an emotional person and after the roller coaster of what if's and maybe nots I have gotten the last couple weeks I was excited to see God work this little miracle and give me the reassurance I so desperately needed.

I called my husband in tears, confusing the poor guy. I had to explain that they were happy tears because God had answered my fervent prayers. I had also asked my bible study ladies, who are prayer warriors, to pray and when they ask God answers!

I may still have a long road ahead of me; however, I now feel I have the strength to walk it. I have hope and renewed faith that my Father is a Father of grace, mercy, and LOVE! He knew what I needed and that I was reaching my limit. He reached out and gave me a great big HUG as he whispered in my ear that he loved me.

I am schedule to have laparoscopic surgery in April to get a better idea of what's really going on and give my Dr. the chance to see how bad it all is in there. It should help my montly pain along with increase our chances of getting pregnant. The best part is that our insurance covers the procedure 100%, YAY God!

Who knows if I'll birth my own kids. Who knows if we're called to adopt. Either way this little blessing has given me what I needed, a little hope of something greater.

I'm thankful for my pee stick blessing!

GOLD is Made With Sweat and Tears

As a child, when asked what I wanted to be when I grow up I have no recollection as to what my answer was. I do, however, remember that a deep rooted love for children started very early. I remember loving to play house and always wanting to play the role of the mother. I thoroughly enjoyed babysitting, working in the nursery, and helping with children’s church and was willing to babysit some of the worst kids that no one else wanted to; why, because I loved it. My parents on more than one occasion commented on my patience with children and I honestly thought nothing of it.

As my senior year of high school approached I had NO IDEA what I wanted to with my career or how I wanted to make money for the rest of my life. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to be a mom. More than anything I wanted to get married and start a family; a family with 4 kids and 2 dogs. My lifelong dream is surrounded around the idea of children and family; all the other stuff is icing on the cake.

We’ve been married for almost 3 years and for 6 months we have tracked my cycles in hopes of being blessed with a baby. For 6 months we’ve tested for ovulation to better our chances, I’ve taken prenatal vitamins to prepare my body, and everyone we know has been praying over my womb.

2 weeks ago I got a God given reality check: no matter what we do or what I prepare for if God does not will it, it will not happen. After a visit to my gynecologist and numerous phone calls between us, I learned NOT ovulating is NOT normal. My biggest and longest lasting fear smacked me in the face full force; I may not be able to get pregnant.

As with my mom, I suffer from endometriosis. In her case having children was not a problem; obviously, I’m the youngest of 3 and we all came one right after the other. I, on the other hand, may have to take the long and hard endometriosis road, the road that is laden with fertility tests, drugs, and surgeries.

Immediately bitterness set in. Here I am young, willing, and begging for a child only to be told not… right… now. Never in my life have I ever been refined by God’s fire (1Peter 1:6-9) so strongly, never have I been asked to trust more, never have I required so much God given patience just to make it through one more month of excruciating and debilitating cramps, and never have I prayed so hard and relied so much on my Lord (Matthew 7:7-8).

My Father knows that my heart is broken; He feels my pain each month and cries with me. He hears my begging pleas everyday and sees my tears of despair every night. He knows my discouragement is great and can slowly see me being chipped away as His light seems to grow brighter from within me (Psalms 55). This is a lesson I wish upon no one but today, it’s a good day, I stand proud to learn it. My Savior knows not every day is a good day and that I’m not strong every day; however, He loves me and stands with me through it all (Philippians 4:6-8).

One day my dream will be fulfilled for it is a lifelong deep rooted desire of my heart (Psalms 37:3-6). I don’t know how and I have no clue when but I WILL be a mom one day!

Frisbee Anyone?

I hope that everyone was able to get out and enjoy the GORGEOUS weather, if you had any, this past weekend. My AWESOME hubby planned a fun day out for us that included a picnic and a round of frisbee golf. Excited, I got online to see if there were any courses in Louisville that we had yet to try; unfortunately we only have 2 and the one we had yet to try out had a Disc Golf tourney going on. Sat. came and we headed to Iroquois park; only to discover that our main path to the park was closed due to construction. DETOUR (bummer), we should have taken the sign for what it was... someone telling us to turn around and go home while the going was still good.

Once at Iroquois, having played there before, we were shocked to find that the course was 1/2 gone due to construction on plumbing lines that run under the park. Stunned and amused that of course this WOULD happen to us I called a friend to get directions to a park in Indiana that had a course. We were bound and determined to take advantage of such a nice day and refused to let the sight of bulldozers and mounds of dirt deter us from our goal. :)

As we approached our exit to get on 65N from 264E we found it closed. (seriously?!) We had to go down to the next exit and get on 264W before we could get on 65N; only the ramp to 65N from our lane was closed (are you kidding me?!). We had to turn around on Poplar Level and get on 65N from the other direction. LOL. Finally on 65N, we reached the bridge and were crossing the river when I realized we were on the wrong bridge (OHMYWORD!!!). We had to get off and turn around so that we could take the 64 bridge to IN. By this point, I was laughing hysterically and couldn't stop it was just too funny.

After almost 2 hours in the car we FINALLY reached the park. Having had our picnic in the car we headed out for a fun round of Disc Golf. The course was deserted, the weather was perfect, and Brandon only won by one stroke; his winning meant ice cream for me! Despite the rough start it was a fun day... and OF COURSE it would happen to us! :)

This is what happens when Brandon wins.