I'd Rather Be a Parent Than a Wife

I recently made this statement:  "I'd rather be a parent than a wife," to a friend.
Shock and awe followed with the certain jaw left hanging open and her eyes growing to an unusual size. After she adjusted the hinge of her jaw, by a sharp intake of air, she asked "How could you say such a thing about your husband?"

I genuinely consider myself lucky to have grown up in the household I did. My parents love each other deeply, are committed to Christ and to one another, and raised all three of us with certain strong morale values. One of which was respect. Respect for Christ, yourself, your elders, and others. The "others" include your spouse. Even while dating I spoke highly of my significant other, of the time, and never took part in the common boyfriend bashing that some my friends were so fond of. To this day I do not surround myself with women who feel the need to constantly find fault in their husbands and need to share those faults with anyone who will listen. Brandon knows his faults, accepts them, works to improve them, and doesn't need me sharing them with others. While I may (at times) point them out to him, which I don't recommend to other wives/ spouses, I don't point them out to others. This statement was by no means "about my husband".

My husband IS the man God blessed me with to help me grow in Christ and to encourage me to the woman Christ wants me to be. Brandon is supportive, loving, compassionate, hysterical, dorky, and an incredible  friend. He is a phenomenal father. Both our children adore their father because he cares so much for them and enjoys spending time with them. He wrestles with our son and is constantly finding new ways to wring another smile or laugh out of both of them laugh.

With that being said, understand where I come from...
My biggest dream in life has been, since a young age, to be a mom! I grew up babysitting all the neighborhood kids. I received my college degree in Elementary Education. I spent 4 years training how to work with, discipline, and encourage KIDS. I spent 4 years in and out of classrooms of all ages working with KIDS. Parenting, for me, is (most of the time) a second nature; I find it comes naturally.

God gave me maternal skills, that I honed and refined, while I have to learn marital skills. I grew up in a house FULL of women. My 2 sisters did not really provide the real life experience of living with a guy.   Added to that, marriage is HARD! I have no training, no experience, and nothing to go on. I can talk to others until I am blue in the face but there is no real way to gain experience in marriage except to get married and jump right in!

I get why there are millions of books and seminars on marriage: bettering your marriage, getting your marriage on the right track, or how to thrive in marriage. It just makes sense. Brandon and I celebrated 6 years of marriage this past Sunday. I chose to love him the day we got married and I have chosen to love him everyday since and will chose to love him everyday until death do us part.


Currently my stats are as follows: 6 years marriage experience vs. 6 years child rearing experience (through babysitting, childcare at church, VBS type stuff) + 4 years extensive child training. It's nothing against my husband; the numbers are clear. I have to work a lot harder, most days, at being a Christ-like wife than being a Christ-like mom.

All that to say, this still holds true and has nothing to do with Brandon:
I'd rather be a parent than a wife.