For those that don't know our daughters story please allow me to share:
Despite a rough pregnancy with Andrew and the surprise of being pregnant with Olivia everything went very smoothly. Even labor was a quick process and my daughter came out pink and screaming. She took to nursing like a pro and we cherished finally meeting her and holding her in our arms.
Since our pediatrician does not come out to our hospital we were assigned an on-call pediatrician. When Olivia was first born they heard a murmur in her heart. Her first day in the hospital after birth the pediatrician came in very optimistic but wanting to chat. He sat down and talked to us a bit stating "it is probably PAC (premature atrium contractions) and something she would more than likely outgrow". He drew us a chart to explain and told us not to worry too much but they were going to do an EKG just to be sure. We carried on with no concern and again cherished all the family and friends visits and time to hold and snuggle our little girl.
The following morning the pediatrician came back after running tests, more serious this time, and stated he that what he was looking for in the EKG was not there. They wanted to run more tests and it was not what they thought. He mentioned a possibility of PVC (premature ventricle contractions). He never really explained the situation and wouldn't really answer any of our questions. Each time I would ask a question as to what PVC was he would response with: "I want to do more testing". He explained that Olivia would not be discharged with me and she would not be going home any time soon. He said that he knew the best cardiologist in Louisville who specialized in infant PVC, he had personally called him, and he would be over to see us later that day to discuss the situation. He let us know that he would work to get me a board room close to the nursery and would come back to see us after we had met with the cardiologist.
PAC is a misfire in the upper part of the heart to which the lower part helps the heart recover and keep beating. PVC is a misfire in the lower part of the heart. Due to the longer distance from the lower heart to the upper heart the rate of recovery is longer and it takes longer to get the heart beating again. In an adult, who has a more mature heart, the ability to recover can be minor and may only cause a "minor" heart attack. In an infant the time span it takes to recover is often fatal. At any moment our daughter could suffer a heart attack and die with no warning or real cause. I began praying immediately and constantly, while sobbing. We were devastated.
I held her tighter, closer, and with greater love than anyone hoping and praying. I wanted to see her crawl and walk. I wanted to see her play. I wanted to hear her first word and see her at school for the first time.
I wanted to take her home.
After seeing the cardiologist they took Olivia again for more testing. The cardiologist wanted his own team to run tests. We sent special emails/ text/ and phone calls asking for prayer from those closest to us. We attempted to busy ourselves while waiting for Olivia's return. Everyone prayed for my little girl but no one more or harder than me. It was a LONG and emotional day!
6 hours after we received the news about her heart the cardiologist came back stating she looked great and HIS tests came back free of PVC; he didn't hear any real murmur and nothing was showing on any of the tests. She did have an open valve, that would close in time, that he wanted to keep an eye on but as far as everything else she was healthy, happy, and doing great. He did want to send her home with a holter monitor (24 hr. EKG machine) to be sure. We were to return the machine the next day, calm down, and go home- taking O with us- and rest. We sobbed some more, this time in relief and pure joy that our little girl was okay. We sobbed even more when they told us we were able to take her home!
Getting in the car with my daughter, I cried all the way home at the emotional whirl wind of a day but yet knowing that Olivia was in the back seat contently sleeping, breathing, and heart beating.
Everyone asks if I prayed that God would spare my little girl. Honestly, I did not. My prayer was that God would hold her, give the doctors wisdom, and comfort me in a way I had never been comforted before. The fear of losing my little girl was devastating and blinding. But as I prayed I begged for God to hold our family in his hands and comfort us. I prayed for Christ like strength and wisdom. I prayed for my little girls heart to be strong and beat as long as God willed. When I had finally, fully placed my daughter in Christ's hands I thanked God endlessly for her. I called each piece by name: the moments I had to hold her, her alert eyes, her perfectly heart shaped lips, her long eye lashes, her ability to nurse, her long elegant fingers and perfectly shaped nails. I thanked God for the friends and family that already loved her and showered her with that love. After giving thanks I prayed for the machines that were testing her heart, the doctors/nurses who preformed the tests, and for the tests to come out true. I asked God to pour his spirit into our little girl and let Christ's light shine through her, even at her young age of 2 days old.
To have finally met my little miracle I feared losing her. To say hello and then goodbye; that fear was real. In what some consider a brief time frame I gained and grew more as a Christian, as a woman, and as a mom than I ever have in my life. 6 hours changed me. Fear changed me. God blessed me.
Olivia is my little miracle. There is not a DAY that I don't look at her and say thank you. She gained weight before her first doctor appointment after coming home and has since put on another 1.6 lbs and 4 inches. She is always full of smiles and you can tell she already adores her brother.
I continue to pray for my little girl. I pray she continues to be healthy and happy. I pray she comes to know Christ and how much He loves her. Most of all I pray that Christ will continue to use her to touch others and His light will continue to shine through her, no matter what her age. :)
