Only Seconds Long

Yet again the thought of how heavy my child is slammed my mind as I lifted Andrew off the changing table.With a huff I set his feet on the floor and turned toward the door not acknowledging if he was following or not. Seeing a spark in his eye I smiled as I walked out and turned off the light fully expecting him to follow. Having thrown away his soiled diaper I continued my morning routine of getting ready, applying my makeup and finishing up with my hair. As I pinned the last of my hair I noticed that I had not seen or heard from my son since leaving his room and dread started to rise in my stomach.

Knowing that Brandon had been in the kitchen and unaware of the fact that I left Andrew alone in his room I sighed as thoughts of what might be now spread across his floor. It could a number of things; books, diapers, wipes, anything he found in his closet. I was sure I'd left that door open.

Too tired, I prayed for patience to what I might find and made my way across our small house towards Andrew's room calmly calling his name. As I entered the semi dark room my eyes quickly adjusted. The floor was clean and all I found were a small pair of feet at the bottom of the curtain. Certain that my son was playing hiding and seek or peek- a- boo I called out to him again with a smile on my lips. He quickly poked his head out from behind the curtain to acknowledge me briefly before retreating back. Chuckling at his antics I made my way to the window and peeked around the curtain gently asking: "what are you doing?"

To my amazement my son was standing at the window holding up the shade. He turned with a smile that stretched from ear to ear and with wonder in his voice pointed out the window: "LOOK" he exclaimed! Gesturing for me to raise the shade he held his smile and turned back toward the window; immediately I removed his burden and let my eyes follow his out the window.

There in the front yard were 4 robins pecking away at their morning breakfast. Again Andrew turned to me with his eye brimming with excitement as he calmly stated around his pacifier: "bird". Placing my hand on his back and giving it a quick rub I smiled and encouraged him: "That's right, birds, 4 robins".

He simply smiled at me, then sighed, folded his arms on the window sill and turned back to watch the birds in the yard. Contently we stood there for no more than a minute or two before Brandon came looking for us, ready to leave for the day.

In those few minutes neither of us said a word. With my hand still on Andrew's back neither of us moved. We stood there letting our eyes take in the birds of the morning. When Brandon came in calling and asking what we were doing Andrew looked at me and then back out at the yard. Sighing again, he waved and told the birds: "bye bye" as we both moved toward Brandon and from around the curtain.

Chuckling again, I took a second to place the moment in my mind. I didn't want to forget the simple wonder of my son and his fascination with the robins. I wanted to savor the minute I shared just standing in silence with him. He is too young and the moment was too short for him to ever remember it but I hoped to place it in my memory and never forget it. To me it was something special and although brief I know it added to the love and bond I have with my son.

It was a phenomenal way to start my morning. Today it was better than any hug or kiss he could have given me.