Don't Let Go

Like any mother I cherish any time spent getting to snuggle my child with full knowledge that those times will grow less and less and shorter and shorter as my little monkey grows up.

Gentling place my little monkey in his crib I sighed with relief as I thought about the rest of my evening. With a plan in mind I made my way back to the living room and to my closest girl friend and husband. Quickly I took my spot on the couch as the three of us geared up for the movie that we carefully had selected earlier that day.

Music played, the screen filled with a gorgeous snow filled scenery, and the little monkey cried out in confusion and loneliness. Taking a moment to pause the movie before standing Brandon declared he would get it. The look I gave Sarah expressed my deep apologies with out saying a word and she just smiled in return and shrugged her shoulders. 10 minutes passed with out sight of Brandon and as I raised to check on him and the monkey the two made an appearance; Brandon carrying him lightly on his arm. The monkey's head bobbing up and down as they walked into the room, his eyes moving about to take in what was going on, and tears stained his cheeks and held at the corners of his giant reddened eyes.

Brandon took position in the recliner and readied to cuddle and rock the monkey back to sleep but he would have none of it. Arching his back, crying out, and flailing his arms Brandon could not get the monkey to settle down. Hearing his "pain" cry we dosed him with Tylenol as Brandon spent another 30 minutes attempting to comfort him with no real result. Oral Gel on his lower gums was next and although his crying died down it did not cease; defeated Brandon handed him over to me.

Immediately the little monkey clung to my hair and shirt as if fearing I might drop him. He desperately wanted to make sure that I knew not to let him go. Carefully I eased down into the recliner and worked to get both of us more comfortable and slowly began to rock the chair back and forth. Turning on my "mom" voice I cooed at my son to calm down and reassured him that everything was okay; almost instantly his body relaxed and his breathing calmed. Quickly his breathing evened out and he fell limp in my arms, sleep having over taken him. Slowly I walked the short distance to the nursery and gently lowered the monkey into his crib. His body having touched down on the sheet his eyes popped open and he cried out in protest. Confused, I raised him up again and watched as he settled, yet again, contently in my arms. After rocking for another short 5-10 minutes in the glider I attempted a second time to place the monkey in his crib; again, his eyes opened and his cries were heard through out the house.

Befuddled, I cuddled my son once again and made my way back out to the living room where Brandon and Sarah sat just as amazed as I was. Had he not just fought off an ear infection I would have let him cry it out; however, this type of behavior was very uncharacteristic of my little monkey so the three adults pondered what would cause such a needy reaction from the little one. Our conclusion: when you don't feel good you just want your mommy, it was all we could come up with to explain his drastic change in behavior.

Per Sarah's thought, I cuddled him while in my bath robe and we were able to finish the movie. Having been able to enjoy the movie in peace once it was over I make my way back to the nursery praying Sarah's idea would work. After placing the monkey in the crib I took off my robe and tucked it around him like a blanket and watched as he sighed with relief. 10 minutes later as my son realized that it was a bath robe he was cuddling and not me he cried out again. Frustrated and fearful that I might have to spend the evening in the chair I made my way into the nursery, for the third time, to pat the little monkey's bottom back to sleep. Cooing at him to calm and encouraging him to take the robe he settled down and fell in to an exhausted sleep.

As I leaned down to kiss him goodnight he had one arm and leg wrapped around my robe and was burying his nose in it's scent, my scent. I sighed with relief that I would get to sleep in my own bed and lightly chuckled at the sight of my son. Despite the change in evening plans it was nice to get some extra snuggle time and I took a second to cherish the thought.

He has been content each night since and despite my concern over his behavior that evening it was nice to feel so needed so badly for just one night.