Laid Back Mom With The Good Son

It's true what they say: Once their mobile all life comes to a screeching halt and there is no going back. I don't think I'll be as encouraging with the second one when it comes to moving around. I just don't know if I'll have the energy for it. My son is past his 1st birthday and our second, a little girl, is half way here. Whew, what a whirlwind of life.


While pregnant with our son I always shared that I would be a laid back parent; allowing my child to eat dirt, make a mess, and not living through a hand sanitizer bottle. Everyone would just laugh and say: "yea right, just wait". To give credit and toot my own horn for a moment I have maintained my original thought.

Here's my mentality: You want to hold my kid, perfect that means I don't have to! He did a back flip off the couch and landed on his head, is he bleeding or crying? Was it just one handful of dirt or two that just went in his mouth? Another stain, the shirt only cost one dollar. He likes my shiny necklace, here put it on him. The dishes can wait the boy wants to show me how he emptied the pantry of all contents and found his crackers.

Does my life long love of children and dream of becoming a mom fuel my nonchalant attitude? Do I have some sort of special gift that allows me to be so easy going? Am I so grateful to my heavenly father to giving me Andrew that I'm willing to let him go? Am I lazy? Do I care enough? This is my first child, I'm suppose to be panicky about every germ, mess, and outfit they ruin, right?

With so many questions in mind I can't help but ask why would I want to restrict him with so many rules and a fear of germs? Andrew is safe. Andrew is happy. There are rules in our house, there are rules when we're out in public, and the rules are the same. We ask things of our son and don't yell. Even at 15 months old we give him choices and let him decide. We communicate what we expect and follow through with age appropriate discipline when it's not met. We take cues from him and listen when he's trying to communicate something to us. Andrew's personality is easy going. He loves life, he loves food, he loves people, he is an easy child. Maybe I'm so easy going because with Andrew I can be.

In the past I've been asked what I do to have such an "easy" or "good" child. Nervously laughing my response is always: prayer. My prayer from the moment I found out I was pregnant and to the present moment has always been that my child would be happy, healthy, and love God with all his life. I've never prayed for obedience, a sound sleeper, or a strong and smart man. I've never felt the need to. God created my son. God knows his path and it's my job to trust him and seek his will to help guide Andrew to it; what ever it may be.

Outside of prayer I fully believe that my laid back mentality comes from my own parents. They raised me with a great attitude that has translated to my adult years and now to my own children:

I'm here for you no matter what. If you want to make a decision that causes your life to fall to pieces that's your choice. That choice is okay because I'll be here to help you pick up the pieces!

Please don't misunderstand. My parents did not let us run crazy and do what ever we saw fit. Just as my 15 month old has rules so did we. As we grew and followed them we gained trust and with that trust came independence. As Andrew grows he will gain that trust and independence as well.

In the mean time, he can eat dirt- as long as it's not out of my flower pot (lol). He can flip over the back of the couch, he can completely empty his bookcase of books, bang my pots on the floor, or break my jewelry by accident. It's not that I don't care but that I want my son to learn how to be his own man of God. I keep him safe but am willing to let him learn a few things on his own- even if that means it might hurt a little.

My prayer remains: Father please let Andrew be healthy, happy, and help me to show him how to love God with all his life.